It's Like Exegesis (aka Unending Questions)

Marked.
Marred.
being reMade.
Three aspects of the label "Body of Christ."

Philippians 1:27a "Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ."

"Does your exterior truly reflect your interior?"

What does it mean to be a Christian?
I am a mess.
I know I am a mess.
But I do barely hold it together on the outside.
I do well in school.
Professors seem to like me.
My family seems to love me.
I have some friends.
I serve in my church.
This seems pretty together, right?
But does this reflect what is on the inside?
Am I falsifying what is on the inside by being "barely together" on the outside?
I am not necessarily convinced of that.
Do you expect me to dishevel my exterior for the pure sake of direct reflection?
I mean, intentionally?
Am I being hypocritical by trying to hold my exterior world together?
I mean, it would seem kind of…impractical (and perhaps selfish and childish) to let everything go. I mean, what about responsibilities? 
Then...
What is the answer?
If I don’t alter the outside to reflect the inside….then do I alter the inside to reflect the outside?
Well, yes, this would be preferred.
But also, impossible.
This would be akin to demanding that my heart automatically believe everything that I know in my head to be true. Yes, it would be preferred—but completely impossible.
I refuse to pretend that I can be perfect.
Perfection means no sin.
And I am clearly sinful.
So…
Is it then impossible to have an outside that reflects my inside?
Marked by God.
Marred by sin.
Being remade.
Being remade. THAT is key.
I am not simply a mess.
I am not a mess that is hopeless.
I am a mess that is being cleaned up by God.
And to be realistic, I am not perfect on the outside either. Really. I’m not. If you think so, then you are not looking closely enough. You are merely judging me (perhaps out of jealousy).
So maybe I am the same on the inside as I am on the outside.
Maybe.
Just maybe,
if I do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with my God,
then I am the same on the inside as I am on the outside.
Maybe then I am worthy to bear the name of Christ.
God does not demand perfection of me.
He does not demand that I get myself in order for Him.
He only demands that I humbly submit myself to His washing.

Marked.
Marred.
being reMade.

Thanks be to God through our Lord Jesus Christ.