Wednesday, April 22, 2015


In the beginning.
noun, feminine; beginning; also, chief.
From ראש
noun, masculine; head.
Common Semitic word; see also:
Arabic, Sabean, Ethiopic,
Amharic, Assyrian, Aramaic,
Palmyrene, Phoenician, Punic.

In the beginning
before there was time
before the big bang
before creatio ex nihilo

There was a singularity—
or perhaps there wasn’t—
we need a quantum theory of gravity;
Higgs boson wasn’t enough.

In the beginning—
at less than Planck time—
general relativity cannot be guaranteed.
Instead of singularity—infinite curvature?

In the beginning
our universe began
or was infinite
or was merely one oscillation of
big bang then big crunch
or was the birth of our tiny little corner
of the multi-dimensional
or variable multiverse.

In the beginning
God created the heavens and the earth.
Or did he merely create order
from his dark materials:
infinite night and chaos?

In the beginning,
who knows what God(s) did?
Did Moses or the Elohist,
the Hebrews or the Jews?
Did Peter, James, John, or Paul?
Did Jerome, Augustine, or Luther,
or the 47 scholars of King Henry VIII?

Do I listen to
Claus Westermann
Steven Hawking
Jorge Mario Bergoglio
Leonard Susskind
Walter Breuggemann
Jonathan Henry Sacks
the priest at the cathedral
the Anglican vicar down the road
the Baptist preacher Sunday morning
or the still small voice
that some say is the witness
of יהוה, Himself?

In the beginning—
What is the Good News?

Monday, April 20, 2015

To An Empty Chair

One of those conversations—
All in my head—
Trying to explain
What you don’t understand.

I hear your whisper—
I see your ghostly frame.
If you’re inside my head—
Why can’t you understand?

Maybe you’re not in my head—
Rather—I am in yours.

One of those conversations—
All in my head—
Trying to comprehend
What I don’t understand.

If I did what was right—
Why must I find what went wrong?
Guilt growing so strong
That it soaks into dreams.

I'm guilty of betraying me.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

The Assessment

Today’s Assignment: Self-Acceptance

You are             gorgeous
                        in need of major help.
 I don’t understand why you struggle to love you for you!

You get an F. I hope to see some more effort next time.

Saturday, April 11, 2015


I can feel it happening:
I’ve stopped living my life.

Eric Forman.
Sam Winchester.
Vicky Austin.
Anyone but me.

“13 responses by women on why they’re still single”
All actresses.
Some I agree with, some I don’t.
Isn’t my answer good enough?

My job for the summer:
embody Emily Dickinson.

My body is stuck
in a box of six “why?”s.

I point to my heart—
“emotions are deceptive.”
I point to my soul—
“you’re forgetting depravity."
I point to the book—
“context makes that irrelevant.”
I point to my mind—
“there’s too much pride in man’s reason.”

So I cut myself down,
cover my head with old shame,
and within this box I slowly decay.

I can feel it happening:
I’m both dead and alive.
Don't peek inside so I can remain both.

Thursday, April 9, 2015


Proverbs 3: 5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

You ask me to trust—a euphemism—
You command me to trust—but who?—him?
And what does trust look like, anyway?
I have reason and agency—
Debates of free-will—fruitless—
My role—clean up after this mess.
I sit here pleading—
Interceding for intervening—
Until I remember—that meeting
Decreed “No superseding”
These natural laws that create a closed system.
So if you’re out—you stay out—
And if you’re in—you stay in—
But if you’re in—then you’re in
Both in me and in him.
So I’ll ask once again—
Say—Who do I trust?
Oh wait—Why do I ask?
It’s only brain waves—just like any other lust.
It's me versus him--and you want me to trust?