wake with a start, my stomach tightening. What
is this? Am I scared?
I open blurry eyes to glance at the clock. 7:30. Half-an-hour more.
I close my eyes. But
my heart begins to race. I follow my rapidly-clarifying thoughts. It’s last
night. It’s you. I conjure you before my mind, and I ponder. Another surge of
adrenaline. So it’s happening…
stand before you, in my mind. Paralyzed by all my fears, all my hopes, all my
haunting memories, all my unmet desires—
Beep. Beep. Beep.
8:00 alarm. You don’t
dissolve from before me. I reach out and force you back into my heart—or maybe
back into my knotted stomach.
pull myself out of bed. I know I should eat, but I’m not even hungry—