Satan's Anesthesia

I have decided to begin experimenting with different poetry forms. The following poem is an ABC poem. It is a five-line poem that creates a mood, picture, or feeling. The first four lines begin with a word in alphabetical sequence. The final line is a sentence that begins with any letter.

Satan's Anesthesia

Deathly stench arises.
Every thought silenced.

Forgotten hopes and joys.
Groping for something; someone.
Lord, what is this fear in me?

  
I wanted to write a poem on fear tonight. I find it interesting that after a week of glorious healing, I find myself gripped by fear. It is a mildly felt fear, but true fear nonetheless.

I ask myself, Why? Has not God proved Himself to me enough? Or at least enough to last me for a good week?!

I have my suspicions...

Of course, fear was not a common emotion to me before. (I mean legitimate fear. Not surface fears, such as my fear of answering my cell phone or fear of murky water. I can handle those....or at least I can avoid taking my cell phone for a swim in Cayuga Lake.) Fear--deep fear--was not an emotion I let myself feel because I made myself into my own god. And if I am god, then I have nothing to fear because I can do anything! But see I am not God, and I can no longer pretend to be so--for I have laid down that idolatry at the foot of the Cross. So in some senses, I see my fear as something healthy. I am fearful because I realize that I can no longer rely upon myself.

Satan hopes that this fear will paralyze me. 

Many times I have heard the phrase: "Fear does not come from God."

Well, yes....but.....

How do you explain Job 28:28 "the fear of the Lord--that is wisdom" or Psalm 111:10 and Proverbs 9:10 "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom"??

Fear is not entirely evil.

Fear--when responded to appropriately--creates Faith. And Faith never paralyzes. Faith encourages me to reach beyond that which I know I am capable of.

My feeling of fear is real. The only question now is: How will I respond to it? 

May I never willingly give Satan any ground in this battle!

Instead of being put to sleep, I will choose to run faster than my legs can carry me.