In this picture you can see the red prayer shawl that was given to me in order to memorialize the journey of forgiveness and healing that Jesus took me on tonight.
I don't think I ever believed Jesus would meet me in prayer as much as He has during my time in Living Waters.
I asked Him for a memory; and there it was.
I asked Him to come into the memory; and there He was.
He let me cling to His legs and sob, "I'm sorry."
And then He stroked my hair and said, "It's not yours."
What's not mine?
"The shame."
It was as simple (albeit HARD and PAINFUL) as that. What kind of God do I serve?! What kind of God does that for me?!
A GOOD God--that's what (...or who).
It was as if Jesus was just waiting for me to....ask. That was it. All He wanted me to do was ask.
God, You blow my mind! First, You are a God who hovers over the waters. Then, you are a God who creates Order out of Chaos. Next, You are a loving Father who sends His Son. You are the Son who can heal with a single touch of Your cloak, and You call those who choose to believe out with You onto tumultuous waters. And you are the Holy Spirit who indwells Your children, and who is capable of incomprehensible wonders. And, to top all that, You are a personal God who wants to heal and restore me! Of all the great creations from Your great Voice, You still take the time to love me. Thank You. Thank You--thank You--thank You.
The Cross in my hands.
The cleansing waters poured over me.
I can still smell the oil on my forehead.
And I can hold this shawl close and remember....
"I will never be the same again.
I can never return; I've closed the door.
. . .
Whatever You need to do, Lord, do in me.
. . .
Fall like fire; soak like rain.
Flow like mighty waters, again and again.
Sweep away the darkness; burn away the chaff.
And let the flame burn to glorify Your Name."
("I Will Never be the Same Again")
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