Forget Me Not

This poem is a sestina. Sestinas are composed of six stanzas of six lines each, followed by a three-line envoy. The final words in each line are repeated in a predetermined order and also occur in the final envoy.

Forget Me Not

Are you asking me to forget?!

Telling me that forgetting is the only way the pain

will go away? I sure hope

not! Because I doubt you can understand this emptiness.

This feeling like my joy

is forever gone--as if it will be impossible to heal.

I know I must let go of him in order to heal,

but don't ask me to forget.

Don't ask me to dump all my memories of joy--

it's worth the pain

to hold onto those. Perhaps it will make the emptiness

endure--but therein lies my hope.

Do I dare cling to this hope?

Will it prevent my ability to heal;

my ability to ask God to fill the emptiness?

O God, I don't want to forget!

But neither do I want the pain!

Will You be my Joy?

Somehow, someway can my Joy

come from You? Can I hope 

in You instead of feeling the pain

of hoping in him? I want to heal,

God! But to forget

seems to throw it all away. Is not that emptiness?

I see now the emptiness

in the relationship. But there was such joy

too! How can I forget

the hope

of a future (with him)? Oh heal

my heart, God! Take away the pain!

For the pain

is all I feel! My heart is overcome with emptiness--

he is gone; where are You? I know you can heal

with just one touch. That being with You brings eternal Joy.

I need that kind of hope.

May that be what I never forget.

But I need You to heal the pain; 

because I don't want to forget. But then it binds me to emptiness!

Will You restore my Joy? God: "I must be your only source of Hope."

Since writing this piece I have been reminded that we should not pray for God to take us out of the pain or out of the darkness or out of the valley; for it is in the pain that we most cling to Him. Therefore, my cry should be, "God, hold me through this pain." Once again, a song comes to my head: "Held" by Natalie Grant. Lord, I do not deny that this poem was a prayer from my raw emotions; however, I pray that You keep me where You will. Have Your way with me, Lord. Amen.