Psalm 139: Body Shop of Horrors

To the one who knows me intimately,

who is closer than a whisper,

close enough to hear my heart beat:

 

You know me inside and out.

You know what I’m going to do 

even before I do,

and—honestly—it freaks me out.

 

I’ve tried to run away from you,

but you are always with me—

It’s useless to attempt escape.

 

Am I the creation of your thoughts?

Is your will stronger 

than progenitor mechanics?

My code book rests upon your shelf.

 

You haunt my dreams;

when I awake you are still with me.

I’m caught—a single grain of sand—

in the oceans of your mind.

 

You are my everything.

I cannot bear the thought of you

listening to another’s heart.

Their love for you is in vain—

it is nothing.

 

Take me—

Take all of me—

Until I am annihilated in you.

Psalm 91 with Caution to the Embodied Believer

You who live in relationship with God will say to God, ‘You are my refuge and my fortress; I trust You to protect me.’ For you believe God will magically release you from traps and heal you from disease, BUT you are still an embodied being who is just as physically vulnerable as the rest of us. You believe that God will be a protective forcefield, BUT you better still remain two metres apart and wear a face mask in shops and on public transport. You do not fear the shadows moving in the darkness or the unknown sounds around the corner, BUT monsters are real and you shouldn’t let yourself be easy prey.

 

A thousand may fall at your side and ten thousand at your right hand, BUT don’t think you’re invincible. You will look with your eyes and see with your normal quality of vision; don’t count on it spontaneously becoming x-ray vision—unless you’re using technology. 

 

You have made God your refuge and home, BUT building a shelter would still be wise, as well as learning basic self-defence.

 

God is probably commanding angels all the time, maybe even concerning you, BUT—no—your guardian angel did not provide that parking space for you. They have better things to do. If you pick a fight with a lion or play with a snake, please tell me you’ve had handling training, or expect to be bitten.

 

Don’t get me wrong—God is totally with you in times of trouble. God is always with you. BUT God is not your magic charm, and no matter how many times you chant your prayer, your cells will eventually stop dividing and your molecules recycled into something else.

Psalm 56: A Prose Poem

For those far removed from the reassuring comfort of the Divine.

 

As the alarm clock blares, I turn over, pull the duvet over my head, and pull my knees to my chest. I try to hide, but the condemning voices echo inside my mind. O Spirit within, I feel defeated; chase them away! I trust in You! I will not be afraid! They are only voices inside my head!

 

As I move through the day, each silent moment is a danger—the voices threatening to rise again. Even worse is the misplaced, innocent word of my neighbour, confirming the horror within. This world will be the ruin of me! O Spirit within, bring calm! Bring peace!

 

Back in bed, I toss and I turn. My pillow soaks up my tears, catching the dirt and grime of another battle-filled day. Oh the secrets this bedroom holds, hearing each scream and cry. O Spirit within, I call You forth: be my rock amidst these crashing waves. You are truth. You are life. You are truth. You are life. I trust in You! I will not be afraid! This pain is only for the moment—this moment of existence. This too will pass.

 

O Spirit within, I give You my all—this pain and these tears, the voices of death both within and outwith. O Spirit within, fill all of me with Your goodness, Your kindness, Your beauty and joy. You’ve delivered before, now do it again. O Spirit within, bring me from death into life. 

Psalm 119.96: The Perfectionist

My God described as all perfect,

Now manifest in Christ the Son.

Ourselves we find ‘Perfect’ infects;

Portray ourselves as holy ones.

Why must we wait for perfection divine?