James 4:9 “Be wretched and mourn and weep.
Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.”
I am sitting at my desk, perfectly still; head bowed into my hands; breathing deeply, slowly; trembling.
So it’s still there, I think. The anger is still there. I focus again on my body—willing a cessation of the adrenaline pulsing through my vessels.
Is it anger? Or is it fear?
So it’s still there, I think. The fear.
No. Not just anger. Not just fear. It is a cry—a cry of anguish: “Why do you have freedom while I am thus bound?!”
So it’s still there, I think; my body stilling into tautness. The jealousy is still there.
My body begins to cool, my muscles start to ache, and tears slowly well in the corners of my eyes.