It Comes from Within

            I wake with a start, my stomach tightening. What is this? Am I scared? I open blurry eyes to glance at the clock. 7:30. Half-an-hour more. I close my eyes. But my heart begins to race. I follow my rapidly-clarifying thoughts. It’s last night. It’s you. I conjure you before my mind, and I ponder. Another surge of adrenaline. So it’s happening…

            But what is happening?

            I stand before you, in my mind. Paralyzed by all my fears, all my hopes, all my haunting memories, all my unmet desires—

            Beep. Beep. Beep. 8:00 alarm. You don’t dissolve from before me. I reach out and force you back into my heart—or maybe back into my knotted stomach.

            I pull myself out of bed. I know I should eat, but I’m not even hungry—